Hell Hath No Fury
You've heard “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” and it's true. A woman is a very dangerous creature. She is a supporter, encourager, nurturer, caretaker with a loyalty to where her investment lies. When something hurts her loyalty, emotions plus a longing for justice ignite the wick in her heart to launch a fireball aimed at the offender.
Do you remember your first break up? I do... The guy cheated on me and I was so angry all I could think about was payback (not recommended). Then there was the gossip. Girls not only beat me up with their words but they would do it to my friends too. There was a part of me that just wanted to scream back at them and I remember daily walking around high school with a burning feeling in my chest. In college, I had to defend my faith. It was one thing for someone to offend me but entirely another when my professor offended my God. I think that was the first time I felt rage. I didn’t quite know what to do with it and I still don’t. The most angry I've ever been though is when my husband and I were very hurt by a church we served on staff with. It has taken years of counseling to unravel what I believe at times was righteous anger (injustices that also hurt the heart of God).
I'm sure you can recall times where you've been angry, furious even. So, what do we do with our "fury" when we've been "scorned," wounded, and provoked by friends, family, our bosses, or maybe even our church?
The kitchen table is my Jacob’s ladder. Often I sit there in the mornings with my coffee and have "quiet time." With little people and a busy schedule, this is rarely ever actually quiet. But, I grab what moments of both peace and chaos that I can.
I remember one morning when my husband and I were walking through an intense season of anger and pain from "church hurt," I sat down at the table and flipped open a treasure of a devotional book, "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young, and began to read:
“…As long as you live in this world, you inhabit the not yet of brokenness- in you and all around you. This explains the emptiness you often feel as you long for both your perfection in holiness and your perfect home in heaven… Instead of focusing on all the brokenness in and around you, fan the flames of your love for Me (Jesus Lives by Sarah Young).”
I know you started reading this blog expecting me to answer the question of what to do with your anger. And truthfully, I don't know. I don't have three perfect steps to handle it because I don't know your situation. Here are a few things scripturally I do know:
So, here's my only piece of advice today: If there is anger burning inside you, DO NOT FAN THE WRONG FLAME. Just like Sarah Young stated so beautifully, "Instead of focusing on all the brokenness in and around you, fan the flames of your love for Me."
When our passion to see justice exceeds our passion to see Jesus, we aim our fireball toward what is broken instead of fanning it into a desire for the One who can make it beautiful. Yes, there is a fury inside of us women that makes us a force to be reckoned with. But we don't have to morph into the Incredible Hulk to make things right. We have someone already fighting for us and the ones we love.
If you're angry, re-aim. Take anger and blow it into a passionate flame to love God and see glimpses of Heaven on earth until they are one fire. I’m certain that if we do this, we will see our willingness to forgive breed righteousness. Unconditional obedience create honor. And prioritizing prayer before action bring forth miracles.
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Kaley Rivera Thompson is an author, copywriter, public speaker, and musician. She serves as the Director of Communications and Donor Relations for the student sports-centric nonprofit she and her husband, Gage, run called Twelve. When she's not championing other women, cheering on the rising generation, writing or playing her guitar, Kaley loves to sip strong coffee, go on hikes, or take a day trip to the mountains with her family. She takes the most pride in being a mom to two little girls, Lina and Lili. You can follow her on instagram at @kriverathompson or find out more on her website at kriverathompson.com.