When Intimacy Goes From Bad to Good

​I'm about to say a bad word... (takes a deep breath). Ok, here it goes.

Intimacy....

As the calendar brings the month of February and Valentine's Day back around to us once again, I'm stuck thinking about the word intimacy. Why do so many of us struggle with this word? Why is it hard for us to draw close to others, our spouse and to God?

I think we learned to date God…

Ha, okay. I know you probably do not think intimacy is a bad word. But, I grew up in "purity culture." Anyone else?  We did all the "True Love Waits" things. We were the generation who read "Lady in Waiting" and "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." Anything besides "leaving room for Jesus" was pretty much BAD.

The truth is, I think all of us Christian kids/teens in the 90's-early 00's learned to date God but not "marry" Him. We don't claim our closeness with Him as His bride, the Church. 

I can only speak for myself here but, the hard boundaries I learned to set for the opposite sex to keep me "safe," also trained me to set boundaries with God. Jesus can take me out on dates, whisper sweet nothings in my ear, touch my heart in certain places, and only see "safe" parts of me. 

Can we really give God everything?

Here's a story. When I first saw intimacy in one of my marriage prep books, it caught me by surprise. My gut knotted up. After all, intimacy was a BAD word.

Ummmm, I'm sorry WHAT. 
I need to be intimate with my husband?  
You want me to just flip some switch I've turned off my entire life the moment I get married?
What if he doesn't like my whole self?
How do I open up to something I learned to deny, control, and limit? 

You can find out more about setting healthy boundaries in dating relationships in my devotional book "As You Wander."

Biblically, however, in a marriage relationship (Genesis 2:24) and with God (John 17:3), intimacy is GOOD. We were created to be fully seen, known and loved. We were born with the longing to give ourselves away and for that desire to be fulfilled. I love that David says in Psalm 139:1 "O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me." 

Free scripture social media story download HERE. 

With God, there is no guilt. No shame for baring yourself openly. No more hiding your heart. He's already seen it all. True love with God doesn't have to wait. It is here. Now. And, it's safe.

If you're like me, it takes some bravery to openly bare yourself before the Lord. We have to retrain our brain, soul and body to draw close. We can give ourselves permission to like being desired by the God who has seen it all and chooses to stay. So that, when our "Valentine" walks into the picture forever, intimacy reveals itself not as an intimidating act but a comforting promise. ​

Think About It:

1. Is intimacy with God hard for you? Why do you think that is?
2. As you think about Psalm 139:1, what does it mean to you that God knows everything about you, inside and out, and still wants to be close with you?
3. What is a step you can take toward God today as He draws intimately close to you?

Our prayer:  

Lord,
Sometimes it is hard for us to draw close to you and fully trust you. But today we rest in the fact that we are fully known and fully loved. We can come before you and bare our souls. We can come as close as we want to to you and know that it’s safe. So, we step toward you now Jesus. In a world where intimacy has been watered down, may we become so aware of the full power of your nearness and presence. 

In Jesus name we pray,
Amen

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This blog was written by Kaley Rivera Thompson. She is the owner of this blog, an author, worship leader and speaker. She's always down for a cup of coffee or a good hike. You can find out more about her on this website www.kriverathompson.com or on her instagram, @kriverathompson.​​​