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Let’s sit down with my husband, entrepreneur and former professional athlete, Gage, and ask him the hard questions about starting something new. Like…
How do we find the bravery to take the first step? What’s our strategy? How do we identify godly counsel and surround ourselves with the right people to help us get where we need to go? How do we fail forward?
This is a transcript from the “Miracle in the Mess” Podcast. Click the button above to listen in or keep reading along!
Do you have a minute? Then welcome to Miracle in the Mess, with Kaley Rivera Thompson. This is the podcast, serving up biblical thoughts and on the go devotional in 5 min or less. Will you believe with me that short breaks with God can lead to really big breakthroughs in our faith? There are miracles in the mess. If we'll just take a short moment to look for them. Ready, let's dive in. Kaley: Well, welcome back to the Miracle in the Mess podcast. Today is a special podcast because I am joined by the love of my life, Gage. My husband has started lots of new things, and we are in this theme “new.” And I knew I had to interview him because he's lost of advice, that he could offer us and insight. He just doesn't know it yet. So I'm gonna ask him some questions and see if we can get some answers about how to start something new. But before we do that, how are you? What's new? Gage: You said new a lot. I'm good. I'm great. Anything new, so much stuff, isn't it? Kaley: Yes. Our big question today is gonna be, how do we start something new? Maybe there are people out there and it's it's January. So everybody thinking of, like, new things. We wanna get on a workout plan. We wanna launch a new thing.We wanna try something new. We wanna go somewhere new. But you have so much experience doing this, because here, recently, you and a partner launched a business from the ground up. Before that, when you were a teenager, Gage was a professional wakeboarder. So you started weight boarding from ground zero. It wasn't like you were born on the lake or something, and you became a professional. And then you stepped into ministry in your early twenties at Elevation. But then you went on to lead in ministry. You help launch new programs, all kinds of stuff. So help us, you are well of information. If we wanna start something new. The first thing I wanna know is, like, how do we find the bravery to take the first step? Gage: It's a good question, and I think we'll get to the bravery part. Whenever I think about something new, or somebody told me they wanted to start something new, my first question to them would be, why? Like, why do you wanna start something new? Why do you want change in your life? Um, because once you can identify your why it helps naturally bring and provide the motivation like to do it, to get up, um, because some like certain something new is not easy at all. It takes retraining your brain, retraining your mind, you know, creating a new set of disciplines, and, you know, brainstorming strategy, and then actually executing the strategy. Like, there, there's a lot that goes into it. Um, you don't just wake up one day and be like, I'm gonna start something new and it just happened. Takes a lot of work, um. And so if you don't understand your why, and if you don't understand, kind of the goal of of, you know, what you're aiming for, you're never gonna, you know, you're always going to lack the motivation if that makes sense to do it. Kaley: And I think, like we look at all that, and it makes a lot of people scared, you know, because it's, there's so much to starting something new, but maybe they feel called to start something, you know, it's like that thing that keeps bugging them. They're like, this is the year I'm gonna do it. How would you motivate them to go? Gage: You can, you can do it. Take that. Just take that first. I mean, it's at the end of the day. It's that old saying, like, you eat the elephant one bite at a time, right? Like, it can be overwhelming, it can be or feel really big, um. But if you break it down and eat the elephant, you know, one bite at a time, it becomes a lot less intimidating and a lot more achievable, you know. So at least that's what I do. And I'm dysfunctional and weird, so I've got to do it all on a big white board and throw everything up there, and then kind of break it down step by step in regards to, like, how I'm gonna get there. And I do that with everything, not just business or, you know, creating events or, you know, whatever. I do it with fitness stuff. I do it with finances. Like, I've got to put everything on a board. Here's the end goal.Here's what I'm trying to start. Okay. Now, how do I get there? What steps need to be taken? And honestly, a lot of, at least from my experiences, what people do I need to bring along. Or what people do I need to put in place or position to help me get there? So take small steps. Eat the elephant. One bite a time. Just start. Kaley: So, as you know, I'm reading Catching Whimsy by Bob Goff. And in Bob, oh, bob, we love Bob. Shout out to Bob Goff. There are some very insightful things in there, but one of them that I read the other day said, accomplishing anything takes one scoop of strategy and two scoops of logistics. And what I-I think that means now i am not THE smartest person out there and i could be completely wrong so what i think that means is that the strategy would be that I like, E.G., I wanna be healthier this year, so I wanna be stronger. I think that would be a better word. And so I join, join Burn Boot Camp. I'm trying to eat a lot of protein, all that stuff. Gage: So the strategy would be, well, I think the goal is health. The goal is health. The strategy is you join Burn Boot Camp. That was the pathway that you chose to go down. The logistics is what happens in Burn Boo Camp. That would be like your dieting, your meal, your workout, you know, two days upper body, today's lower. So, you know, there's the goal or the vision, or the why, then the strategy is like the pathway on how to get there. And then the logistics is like the nuts and bolts, or the small, minor details that fall under that, at at least that's how I do it. Kaley: See, this is why I bring this up to you because you're the experience. So you run a business right now that has lots of strategy and logistics. My first question would be, do you agree with that? The one scoop strategy two scoops logistics Gage: For sure. So, and I think this is what, again, I'm not smart as Bob Goff, but I think this is why he said one scoop versus two, um. A lot of people can, like, throw a bunch of things on a whiteboard of strategies. You know, these are ways that I can get rich. These are a hundred different ways that I can get in shape, or, you know, reach people or impact my community, or whatever. It's easy to come up with those ideas. It's a lot harder to actually put the logistical side to it, um, the nuts and bolts to it and and execute like the details of it. And so, you know, I would rather, you know, stick to one strategy and be able to execute the logistics, you know, one scoop is the strategy to scoop the, you know, the logistics or whatever. And actually be able to execute that. Then just have a bunch of strategies floating out there, and none of them are actually being effective for working. So, yes, I agree with Mr. Goff. Kaley: So, like, break down for me, use me as an example of the I-I wanna get strong. What am I putting on that white board? how do we in our ordinary lives go Strategy logistics to start something. Gage: The fitness one is a little bit more tough to use an example. Kaley: Okay, use something else. Pick anything. Gage: So this is how I would do it. If I wanted to start something new, and I was sitting in front of a white board, I would again, I would write the why. Here's what I'm aiming for. Here's what I want to accomplish, or here's what I wanna do. From there, I would brainstorm a ton of strategies. So here's six different ways I could do that right. From there, I would then start to figure out which one. And again, everybody's goals are different. So this could change depending on what you're aiming for. Um, then I would figure out which one of those I could accomplish the quickest. So for me, it's like time versus reward. So which one of those strategies is gonna have the greatest impact, like towards my goal, and it's gonna cost me either the least amount of time or the least amount of money to accomplish, if that makes sense. So that's how I would then narrow down, let's say, six strategies, down to two strategies. And then I would follow, like, what can I actually accomplish? So, like, for instance, fitness. The goal is fitness, get healthy, get strong right now. Write down a ton of strategies. Well, one of the strategies could be doing heavy lifting with A trainer every single day that's a real strategy like you could have it you could. Pay for a personal trainer that would you know help you lift heavy weights because you would want to increase your strength, um. But maybe that's not financially feasible, so that strategy is not necessarily realistic. Or you're a mom and you don't have time to drive 45 min to the personal the only personal trainer in your city that could train like So that would not be a it's a strategy. It would work. But there's too many variables that would have to go into that strategy for it to actually be effective. So I would not focus on that strategy. A burn boot camp. That's another strategy. It's right down the street 3 min away. They have child care like it's low cost, it's low time. It fits. They have time available, like that fits in your schedule. So that's, that's a very real strategy that you can accomplish. You're gonna have high results with that strategy, with very low time and money involved. Kaley: So I think what deters us from starting new things, or we start them, and what I think makes them not finishable, is this thought right here, like, we don't have a good strategy or logistics, so we try to start something, and it's actually not feasible for us to do them. Gage: I mean, it's easy to dream about stuff, right? It's a lot harder to actually like, put pen to paper, or, you know, wake up early to prioritize it, or to have the discipline to do the boring minute thing over and over again. But that's actually what build success and will help you move towards your goals that you want to accomplish. Kaley: So I wanna get to the spiritual side of things in just a second. But before that, I wanna back up for 2 s. So if we wanna start something new, we really gotta have a motivation. We've got to figure out why we're doing this, and then we've got to have a good strategy to accomplish it. Gage: But when those are in place, I think, and this is the most so scared, you're not so scared or fearful to at least try the third And I think the hardest step, but also the most rewarding, is you gotta have the discipline to stay consistent and and do it like. You know, you gotta, you gotta put action to it, or nothing will ever come from it. So, and I-I think that's true physically i think it's true you know with health or any of our goals like earthly also think it's very very true, spiritually in our walks with god like you know you gotta, actually put the discipline in the effort. And obviously God will meet you wherever you are, you know, all that. But, like, you still have to put the effort in and the consistent work, especially if we talk about living a life, you know, that reflects Jesus. So, because this world's crazy, this world be crazy, um, the spiritual side, the spiritual side. Kaley: So Jesus, I wanna focus on Proverbs 15:22, mainly because I also think you're an expert at this. So it says, plans fail for lack of counseling, but with many advisers, they succeed. How do we identify godly counsel and surround ourselves with the right people to help us get where we need to go? And to preface this question, Gage, growing up, surrounded himself with like male figures that he still to this day, calls uncles. Gage: And my poor kids are messed up because they got like, 19, literally, and none of them actually, they're not related to us at all. Kaley: Throughout your life, you learned to do that really young, to say, here's where I need to go. And I'm gonna identify some people who are, like, three, even four steps ahead of me to teach me how to get there. And to me, this is like the final link in the recipe to start something new. Because if you feel like you're a pioneer and you're just alone, you're not gonna make it. Um, I mean, the Bible literate says plans fail like they 'll fail with lack of counsel. And so tell, tell us how to to choose the right people. How do you identify those people that you're like, they're an uncle. They're gonna help me go. Where, where I thought, god's taking me to go. Gage: That's a good question, too. I think for me, it's like, and I, this is gonna sound like, I'm joking. It it's, I'm actually very serious. I, I've always known I'm not the smartest kid in the room. However, I am a product of, like you said, um, surround myself with people who are smarter than me, wiser than me, more experienced than me. And I have always, even though I have not been a smart person, room, I have always had a deep hunger to, like, learn and, like, master and absorb, you know, whatever the lesson is or, or whatever topic that I was intrigued by. During that time, I kind of dove all in, um. So I was always, like, curious, like to learn. But I hated reading. You know, we didn't have the Internet where we could just Google. And so it forced me to, you know, surround myself with people, um, that have already accomplished the things, or were living the life that I longed to live. So all this is say, but what has to happen for you to surround yourself with is you have to lay down your pride. And I think that's the biggest thing that keeps people from finding really good, healthy community or mentors or coaches, is they're too prideful. They're scared to say, I do not know the answer. Or, hey, I have this desire to get here, but I don't know the steps to take, and I see you've done it. Please help me. Like, that's the number one thing that that keeps people And once you can lay down your pride and actually, like, admit that you need people to that have that has gone before you to develop, to mentor, to kind of show you the way, then they start falling in place. So I do the same thing I-I put a whiteboard so like for instance whenever, we started i would SAY making a little bit of money um i didn't know anything about taxes like at all And so I put it on the white board. The goal of starting something new in that category was figure out and master the tax system and understand it. My strategies were, how do I do that? I could read 660, something, pages of the tax code. I could find somebody that does that for a living, and, you know, professional like, there was a bunch of different strategies, but then I actually had to implement it and learn about it and, and do the work. Kaley: That's super helpful. But you have to have your pride laid down and admit I don't know what I'm doing. Please help me. What does it look like to reach out to those people? Because I feel like that also feels really intimidating to cause. It's like, I think the first thought, at least I always have, is, why would they invest in me? They've got enough going on. I make up all these excuses as to why that person is probably not gonna meet with me for sure. Help me. Gage: That's that's just allowing the enemy to, like, distract you or hold you back from doing it. Um. So for me, again, going back, I identify who are those people that I need to reach out to that I would love to learn from? Or have the opportunity to, um, that's step one, praying about that and having clarity on it. Then, again, you gotta put action to it. So you actually have to set up the coffee, set up the phone call, set up the Zoom call, you know, show up to their house for dinner, you know, or invite them over to your house for dinner, like you've got to put the work into to logistically make it happen. Um. But then I think anytime you go in with like a humble heart and, and like a serving posture, it's not, hey, I know you became a millionaire and you're filthy rich, and just give me handouts that nobody's gonna do that right? Like, they're gonna be kind of hesitant to give you advice to, to pour into you, or whatever. But if you go in with, like, a very humble heart and kind of with the posture of, how can I serve you? How can I add value to you? Um, I think they're gonna be completely open to help you. You know, at the end of the day, I just just do it. But, you know, at the end of the day, though, here's the truth you have to understand, like any anybody watching this, if you have done, overcome, accomplish anything, um, and someone helped you do it. But now you're the six, quote unquote, successful one. If anyone comes to you and and, and ask you to guide them or ask for your advice, you're gonna be honored to give them. It's just like our story. It's just like our testimony, right? Like God has done something in our lives completely transform and changed us. Like, why would we hold that truth, you know, from the people around us, especially if somebody asks us right now, like, we're gonna freely give that information and give that advice and, you know, give the impact that that could have on their life, just like it did our life. Right? So I think again, you gotta lay down your pride, you know, admit that you don't have it all figured out, and that you need help. I think you have to practically be bold and logistically take the steps to set up the, the meeting and the conversation, um, and then I think it'll just phone the blanks. Kaley: I've, I mean, I've found that most of the time, people say yes for sure. And normally you don't really get a no. It's like, I just can't right now, or, you know, whatever. Gage: But what I will say though, about this, because I have a lot of people I've done this, and I think one of the things that have helped me gain the energy, or become a priority for these people to instill or pour into me, is the fact that I always come prepared. Kaley: So if you ask somebody, have the meeting before the meeting, correct? Gage: If you ask somebody to, to connect with you or to meet with you, or if you've got questions that you wanna, you know, pick their brain on, or whatever, and you show up and you, you don't have questions and, and you haven't done the research, or even just reflected enough to be able to kind of guide the conversation. They're gonna feel like you're wasting their time, and it's not a good first impression, right? So, oh, that'd be my advice, but it matters. You cannot get where you want to go, a long period, little period that you will fail. And for me, its speed, right? Like I could learn whatever the topic is, but it might take me four or five years where I'm like, you know, this person is an expert at at this. This is in their wheel house. You know, they could do it. And a real example of this is me and my partner, john. He's like, an Excel guru, loves it. Gets weirded out about numbers in a good way. I hate it. And so if something comes across our office that we've got to do and it falls in that category, even if it was sent to me or if it was technically my responsibility or for me, I'll, I'll send it to him and just ask, like again, humble myself. And just ask, hey, it's gonna take me 4 H to do this. I'm gonna hate, literally, hate my life doing it all. 4 H 2 min. Could you do it? And he gets excited about it. He's like, I love this. This is awesome, you know. So, um, so you will, you will accomplish the new thing you're trying to accomplish, accomplish ten times faster, um, in in a more healthy way, If you surround yourself with those people. Kaley: What’s that quote, if you wanna go fast, go alone. If you wanna go far, go together. Because the, I think the opposite can also be true, where you can also, like, learn it by yourself and possibly do it, quote, unquote, quicker than, like, waiting on somebody to reach out. And, like, if they say, you know, like, sometimes that takes time to, like, get a meeting scheduled and stuff like that. At least for me, it's tempting to just be like, oh, I just figured out myself, oh, I need to hang this in the house. And while E.G., the nail in the wall, you might be able to do it faster. However, it is not as good. That's gonna fall out, and I'm have to still do it. So I haven't, I have lived Proverbs 15:22 in real time. Gage: Yes, you have. I have failed. You have. I was gonna say something else. Kaleu: Well, if it comes to you interrupt, but we fail inevitably, like, as we try anything new, that's the only way to learn. And I feel like we innately know that as children. You know, we're like, we watch our kids and they're fine with failing. You know, they color outside the lines. They, I mean, Ceci’s two. Gage: I remembered it. I'm sorry. Okay. Can I say one more thing about surrounding yourself with people, or, you know, reaching out to counsel? I think understanding that council can change, like I can put people in your life for a stage or a season. And when that season is up, it's not the end of the world. The reason why I bring it up, I think so many of us, when we wanna start something new, we wanna carry the old with us. And it's, it's impossible, right? And I'm not saying, like, you've gotta, like, cut ties with anybody that ever poured into you or invested in you, or, you know, whatever. That's not what I'm saying. I-I am SAYING i think it's wise to understand okay this, is where I'm going this is what I'm TRYING to accomplish This is a new thing god's doing in my life. Who do I need at this stage of season? Like, if I truly believe God is pointing me in this direction? Who do I need in this stage in season to help me accomplish that and get there right? Kaley: And it's okay to bring in. It's okay to bring in new people. Gage: And it's okay, like some of those new people might only be in your life for two months, or three months, or the first week, or, you know, and someone might phase out, Someone might be with you forever. Kaley: So it might be one coffee. It might be a mentor that lasts lifetime, you don't know, you don't know, anyway, to be flexible, be open. So, failure, sorry, hard transition will, will inevitably fail. I mean, and like I was saying, like, it's all I've ever done, just fail. Fail forward. Well, that's, it is true. I do literally what I was gonna ask you. 25:35 So, with you, call me a failure. Yes, gosh, in the best way. I mean, we've both failed a lot. We both have entrepreneurial spirits, and we've but, you know, I've really so many things that, like one person likes, I'm like, great. And like our kids, when I was referencing, like, I was getting to, you know, Ceci’s two. And she's still even, just like, trying to pronounce words, and she miss, pronounces the only that's how she's learning to say them. And we don't look at her and go, stop trying to talk, you know, like we're like, no, keep trying. Kids innately know how to fell forward, and they don't feel shame about it. But we, as we get older, we feel for some reason like we, we can't fail. That looks so bad on us, like, so we don't try new things, because we're like, what if I fail? And the bubble I just wanna pop is like, you're gonna fail. Gage: You're gonna fail. And it's okay. So, and everyone that has either done or accomplished or are where you hope to be, they've fell their way to that position or that spot or that ministry or that organization like. Now, they might not show that. They might pretend like, they might pretend like they're just perfect and polished, but they did fail. You know, if you think about all the people that you relate to or connect to or you love to follow their journey, it's usually if we're all being honest, the people who are transparent about the journey, right? The good, the bad, the ugly, um, you know, that's what makes us relatable. Kaley: I have some ideas about this, but how do we fail forward? Gage: Let’s hear your ideas. Kaley: I mean, my main thing would be that every time you fail, you're really just learning how to not do it, which isn't just as valuable as learning how to do it. I remember us talking about, we had, like, a pretty rough road in ministry for a hot minute and we told each other like we have our running list of what you do and what not to do we’re just as long as each other. But I think it made us effective later on, because we were, like, when other things popped up, really, no, we've already seen that. I think that's a great way to fail forward is, like, looking at that, quote, unquote failure and relabel it as, like, okay, it's a failure, but it's also, I learned what not to do. Gage: In business I-I joke about all the time I'm like that was a very expensive lesson to learn. If something doesn't work, I think you have to have the discipline and consistency to try again. Also, the wisdom to not try the exact same thing again, you know, if it didn't work, right? Kaley: Um, what is that? There's another quote, repeating the same thing is insanity. Gage: That's the definition of insanity. It's repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, right? So I think failing forward, I think how you practically fell forward, or learn lessons from your mistakes, um, and I'm getting better at this, is stopping long enough to like, evaluate and ask yourself, like, was that actually effective? Did that actually work? And again, being honest with yourself with the answer. And then if it didn't have the courage to reevaluate or or to pivot or to try again. So, so I think the first step of failing forward is reflecting and evaluating, not getting defeated. I think another part of felling forward is stacking small wins. Kaley: You know, okay. You say that a lot. When you're in a funk, you say, I’ve got to stack wins. Gage: It builds momentum, right? And so, um, I think another part of failing forward, and again, this will happen with reps, right? Like the first time you fail at something is, no matter what gonna make you feel defeated or deflate your, you know, excitement or joy or whatever, um. And maybe that takes three weeks to bounce back or to pivot, or to come up with a new strategy or to try something else in regards to, like, trying to reach your goals, or do you know, doing that new thing that you're set out to do? Um, but the more you stay consistent, and the more you fail forward, the quicker you're gonna be able to bounce back. But after you fail forward from it and learn from it, you know, the next time you do it, it might only still your momentum for a week. And then, you know, now I fail three or four times a day easily, um, and I just don't let it still my momentum, you know, because I've done so much learned how to fail forward and keep moving. Kaley: Sometimes failure is success, in it's own backward way, Gage: And I think this is key, right? So, physically, failure, as long as you fell forward, will eventually lead to success, right? I think the same thing is true how God treats us spiritually, right? Like he constantly will make things good, even out of crappy situations. So like, if you fail or you do something, or, you know, whatever the case may be, but you then surrender it to God. It might not feel good in the moment, but he will make good from it eventually. Right? Again. It might take three months to see it. It might take a week to see it might take ten years to see it. But he will, you know, use all things for good, eventually. Kaley: So find your motivation. Find your motivation. What was next? Strategy? Get your strategy. You know, surround yourself with the right people. And when you fail, fail, forward. Fail forward. That's that. Those are four things and how to start something now. Gage: So do that over and over and over again and over and over and over again, and you will succeed, absolutely. And anything will. And stay focused on those things. Don't chase the shining, new, new thing that you think's gonna help you get there to your goals faster and quicker, you know, so you trust the way god's leading you to do it. Kaley: And everyone's pathway is different. Everyone's journey is different. Um, we have learned though, that when you do it, God's way, he blesses it. And it might not be the shiniest, coolest, or, like, the thing that's gonna make you the wealthiest, the quickest, or any of that stuff, like, we've really found that when you do it, God’s way, he really does, bless it for sure. Do you wanna pray for people who are starting something new? Or would you rather me pray? Gage: You can pray. I like to listen to you pray. Every night we took the girls and kids like, will you pray? I'm like, but I also like to hear you pray. So this is my chance in the head of our house, and I love being a you know, it's awesome. So, but you're the head of your followers. Kaley: Let's pray, God, I pray right now for people who are trying a new thing, or they feel led to start anything, and they just don't even know how to get there. God, we pray that they find the motivation. God we pray that you give them a strategy and some great ideas, just fill their head with ideas. God, we pray that you put some names on their heart, even right now, people to reach out to you to help them get there. And then, lord, we pray that when they fail, because they will fail, lord, that they are strengthened by knowing that they can keep trying, that you don't see them as a failure, that success is always around the corner once they pick their themselves back up and keep trying again. And so Lord, we, um, we ask for new things, because your word says that you are doing a new thing in Isaiah. And so Lord, we wanna see the new that you're doing. We ask God just how are you moving? And how can we join you in that? God help us to start the new things, to bring your kingdom here. We pray all this in Jesus mighty name, amen, amen. See, guys, next week.
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AuthorKaley Rivera Thompson is an author, copywriter, Bible teacher, speaker, and worship leader. When she's not championing other women, cheering on the rising generation, writing or playing her guitar, Kaley loves to sip strong coffee, go on hikes, or take a day trip to the mountains with her family. She takes the most pride in being a mom to three little girls, Lina, Lili and Ceci. You can follow her on instagram at @kriverathompson or find out more on her website at kriverathompson.com. Archives
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