When You Don’t Know If You Can Handle Motherhood

​“It’s just not working out,” my dear friend's voice was full of overwhelm and exhaustion from the other end of the phone. Breastfeeding her newborn had become a struggle. The baby wasn’t latching well. Does she switch to pumping? Is a bottle bad? 

The sea of social media and doctoral advice had her rocked and I teared up in sympathy. I’ve been there, lived there underwater with my first born. It felt like I was drowning in a season that should have been marked by motherhood bliss.

​So I told her…

​“Can I be purely honest here? Walking through this with my first child made me feel like I did not know if I could handle having a second baby. Sometimes we just feel like we can’t handle motherhood. But I’ll tell you a secret. We can.”

I dove in a little deeper about how we wanted the gift of more children. I knew that if God let us get pregnant again He’d see us through it. But I was rocked with postpartum anxiety and depression after our first daughter so I begged God to keep the dark clouds completely away this time. The cry that kept coming to me was “help.” God, please help me enjoy this gift of pregnancy and motherhood. I moved forward with fear but tried my best to find confidence in my faith.

Hebrews 11:1 was my life raft. It says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

As moms, what keeps us afloat is our confidence. So, I pressed my friend in that direction. What do you feel would help you regain confidence? What tools has God already equipped you with? What works best for you and your family?

Several friends who’ve walked beside me through my own rocky motherhood stories have asked, “How did you know when you were ready to have another baby?” My answer is always, “You’re never truly, totally ready for any kid or anything.” Even in a “perfect season,” marriage and motherhood would be full of surprises.

I think sometimes when we’re asking God, “What do I do? When do we do this?” He looks back at us and says, “Whatever and whenever. Seek me first and I’ll bless everything that follows.”

This is not saying we do whatever we want but that we follow Matthew 6:33 and make choices that align with whatever God wants for our families. We don’t have to know if we can handle it, we just have to know that He can.

Even in the hardest of times, God is always helping and holding us.

So, maybe motherhood month begins with this reminder: you were never meant to carry it all alone. The same God who called you into this season of marriage and motherhood will also strengthen you within it. You don’t need all the answers today. You only need the next step of faith driven confidence in the God who can carry what you were never meant to hold.

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Journaling Prompt:

Write about a season when fear told you that you couldn’t handle what was ahead. How did God meet you there? Then write honestly about a place in your life now where you need to trust that He can handle what you can’t.

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Reflection Questions: 

1. Where in motherhood (or life) am I waiting to feel “fully ready” before I move forward?
2. What fear from a previous season still makes me doubt what God can do in a new one?
3. Have I been asking, “Can I handle this?” instead of asking, “Can God carry me through this?”
4. What desires do I have for my marriage, motherhood, or personal life that may need to be surrendered to God?

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Prayer
​
Lord,

You know the places where I feel uncertain, overwhelmed, and afraid. You know the memories of hard seasons that still whisper lies to me. Thank You that my confidence does not have to be in myself, but in You.

When I wonder if I can handle what is ahead, remind me that You are already there. When fear rises, be my peace. When I feel weak, be my strength. When motherhood feels heavy, help me see the gift hidden inside the weight.

Teach me to seek You first above timelines, expectations, and pressure. Align my desires with Your heart. Help me trust that if You have called me to it, You will sustain me through it.
Thank You for always helping and holding me.

​Amen.

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Grab Your Copy

​​This month, we’re slowing down to talk honestly about the beauty, weight, stretching, joy, and identity-shaping journey of being a mother. Not the polished version. The real one.

Our blogs will be based out of Kaley Rivera Thompson’s devotional, Matrimony, Motherhood and Me. 

To follow along, grab a copy or a few on Amazon.