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Let’s Be Honest
Relationships will inevitably disappoint us. People will let us down. And—we will let people down. Why? Because every relationship is made up of imperfect people loving imperfectly. I’m cutting to the chase because disappointment in relationships isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, Scripture shows us that disappointment can exist even alongside deep faith. To be fair, there were many people who had a relationship with Jesus—and were disappointed in Him. Think about this…
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There’s something sacred about the table. It’s where stories surface, laughter spills, and sometimes—healing begins.
Around the table, we learn to ask questions that go beyond “How was your day?” We begin to ask, “How’s your heart?” As part of our “At the Table” series, I wanted to finish out our month strong by inviting you into a conversation that I was able to have with some incredible women at an event called Bloom in Charlotte, NC. As a part of a panel, I was asked a series of questions and wanted to share those responses here. Below you’ll find —a reflection on healing, identity, and what it means to walk with God through the long, slow process of becoming whole. If I were taking notes from what I shared at Bloom, this would be it. BUT if you want to listen to the full answers live, make sure you check out the Miracle in the Mess Podcast. May these questions and those at the very end of this blog spark your own At the Table conversations when you’re ready to share a little more heart and soul… 
Here’s my confession — I used to think I was an extrovert.
Mostly because I genuinely love people. I’ve always been up for a good party or hangout. For years, I worked as a camp counselor, followed by even more years in ministry. People are great! But then I got married to a true extrovert. After long stretches of social time, I’d feel the urge to disappear — to read a book, play music, or write alone. My husband, on the other hand, wanted to keep the evening going. “Should we invite someone else over? Grab dinner with friends?” he’d ask. His tank would be overflowing while mine was running on empty. Surprise! I’m actually pretty introverted — and I need quiet time to refuel. Still, I love hosting. Curating a cozy weekend hangout or cooking a meal for friends genuinely fills me with joy. Our home has an open-door feel, and our friends and neighbors know they’re welcome to pop in anytime. I’ve always loved Hebrews 13:2, which says: “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Extrovert, introvert, or somewhere in between — we’re all called to show hospitality. If we ignore that call, we might miss out on angels… or the very answers to our prayers walking through our doors. So yes, we open our homes. But if you’re like me, there comes a point when you need to recharge from all that “people-ing.” With the holiday season approaching, how can we love others well and protect our own peace? Here are a few gentle, introvert-friendly ways to host without burning out: Discipling during DinNER: 3 Practical Ways to Spiritually Connect To our Children at the Table10/14/2025  The kitchen has always been a sacred place for me. It’s the first place I wander to in the morning to make a steaming cup of coffee. For years, it’s been where I open my devotional and journal at the dining room table. It’s where our family gathers at the end of a busy day to share a meal, where friends lean their elbows on the island while I stir something on the stove, and where my husband turns on Johnnyswim, pulls me in close, and spins me around the floor. It’s where our kids dance barefoot to their favorite songs.
Our kitchens have hosted more birthdays, game nights, and holidays than I can count. There’s just something special about a kitchen, isn’t there? It’s both the place where we’re nourished and the space where we feel safe enough to make a mess. Maybe that’s why I believe the kitchen table is one of the best places to begin discipling our children… 
When I step away from the online world and back into real life, I don’t see people as opinions or political leanings. I just see a man and woman chatting in line at the coffee shop, a mom soothing her toddler at the grocery store, a teacher smiling as she opens the door for children to walk into school.
We live in a hyper-individualized culture, and social media only amplifies it. Platforms are curated for “Follow me. Like me. See me.” Me, me, me. But the Bible reveals a different way of living—one centered on community and interdependence. If we look at the first church gatherings, we see that they shared life together—including meals. The good news is this: when you decide to host a gathering, you don’t have to feel crushed under the pressure to provide it all. When everyone brings something, the table becomes a community space filled with dishes that reflect the uniqueness of each person. Maybe the way forward isn’t doing more, but sharing the table—and the load. Here’s what makes me ask… 
News feeds are full of fighting. Families are already split over politics, and group text threads are heavy with tension about who to avoid at upcoming holiday gatherings. Even in our neighborhoods, where we once waved and said, “Hey Bob, how are ya?”—now we avert our eyes, hurry to our cars, and escape into the next thing.
Across America, people are dodging personal connection out of fear of conflict—yet at the same time, we dash to our phones to fire off opinionated comments at strangers on social media. In a world pulling apart, what if the Church led the way in pulling chairs closer? Remembering Connection Before ScreensBefore social media, I had to ask my parents or friends about everything. By the time dial-up internet connected, I could’ve already gotten an answer from my mom and hopped on my bike for a neighborhood ride. When my perspective was off, someone who loved me corrected me and steered me straight. Now, we carry lightning-fast computers in our pockets. Any question, any opinion—seconds away. Then we curate feeds that echo back what we already believe. Before long, we’ve built an entire worldview reinforced not by people who know us, but by algorithms. And here’s the problem… 
I recently hopped on social media to ask for podcast and blog ideas. Funnily enough, I only got one response. But I loved it so much that I’m kicking off our fall Hermana Blog and season three of the Miracle in the Mess Podcast with it.
The suggestion? “How do we adult well?” Honestly, the older I get, the less sure I feel about adulting. In my twenties, I probably would’ve rattled off a quippy, self-help-sounding line like: “Health and wealth in adulthood are found in soul rest and deep relationships.” Or maybe even something peppy like: “Don’t pause your dreams—your best adult self shows up when you chase your God-given calling!” Cute, right? But not raw. True-ish? Sure. Practical? Nope. If we were sitting down for coffee and you asked me this question, I’d give you a much simpler answer: We adult well by thinking less about ourselves and more about God and others.   This morning, coffee in hand, I found myself watching the Today Show—a rare Friday treat. One headline caught my attention: Bed, Bath & Beyond is reopening stores. Apparently, people are ready to step away from the “add to cart” life and get back to touching fabrics, smelling candles, and chatting with store clerks.
As I sat there in my pj’s, I realized… the Western Church feels the same way. The Return to In-Person Worship During the pandemic, many of us shifted to watching church online. Weeks turned into months… months into years. Now, in 2025, something is stirring. We want to walk through church doors again. We want to hear live music, see familiar faces, sip coffee poured from a giant thermos by a volunteer, and watch our kids play together after service. But here’s what I’m hearing from worship leaders, pastors, and people in the pews…  Dear Sister,
Truth Moment: sisterhood can be messy! I had a little sister for 40 years. And boy, could we fight. Like knock-down-drag-out, stop touching my stuff, no you can’t go with me to the mall - FIGHT! But no one could wedge a fight between us. We were sisters! She was also the person that knew me better than a lot of other people. She knew my hopes and my dreams. She knew when I was hurting and when I was winning. She knew I was having twins before I did. And was there to support me when life got heavy. She was my sister. My sister passed on December 23, 2022, and even though we lived across the country from each other, her departure has given a different weight to the term sisterhood. So, what does sisterhood really mean...?  I recently was part of a relationship night where people submitted questions for me and
one of my friends to answer. We got this question that I ended up thinking about a lot. When I first read it, it seemed like the answer was obvious, but the more I thought about it and how I was going to answer, the deeper the answer seemed to become. This was the question…. |
