Discipling during DinNER: 3 Practical Ways to Spiritually Connect To our Children at the Table10/14/2025  The kitchen has always been a sacred place for me. It’s the first place I wander to in the morning to make a steaming cup of coffee. For years, it’s been where I open my devotional and journal at the dining room table. It’s where our family gathers at the end of a busy day to share a meal, where friends lean their elbows on the island while I stir something on the stove, and where my husband turns on Johnnyswim, pulls me in close, and spins me around the floor. It’s where our kids dance barefoot to their favorite songs.
Our kitchens have hosted more birthdays, game nights, and holidays than I can count. There’s just something special about a kitchen, isn’t there? It’s both the place where we’re nourished and the space where we feel safe enough to make a mess. Maybe that’s why I believe the kitchen table is one of the best places to begin discipling our children…
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I recently hopped on social media to ask for podcast and blog ideas. Funnily enough, I only got one response. But I loved it so much that I’m kicking off our fall Hermana Blog and season three of the Miracle in the Mess Podcast with it.
The suggestion? “How do we adult well?” Honestly, the older I get, the less sure I feel about adulting. In my twenties, I probably would’ve rattled off a quippy, self-help-sounding line like: “Health and wealth in adulthood are found in soul rest and deep relationships.” Or maybe even something peppy like: “Don’t pause your dreams—your best adult self shows up when you chase your God-given calling!” Cute, right? But not raw. True-ish? Sure. Practical? Nope. If we were sitting down for coffee and you asked me this question, I’d give you a much simpler answer: We adult well by thinking less about ourselves and more about God and others.  There are more days I wake up already feeling behind the ball than on top of it. It’s as if, no matter how fast I move, time won’t slow down enough to allow me to catch up to it.
You get it. We’re busy women! We have families and kids and jobs and homes and to-do’s and chores and food and then…. we toss in Christmas. A season of light, laughter, families and memories that we’ll so easily rush through if….  This is not the sharing of my two birth stories but rather, a sharing of God’s redeeming grace in and over all things nonetheless. A sharing of hope, of how the Lord brings beauty from ashes and makes all things new in accordance with His perfect plan.
Before divulging too much more, a disclaimer: There will be some details discussed from my two c-sections that could give rise to heavy emotions, thoughts, and feelings if you are in a delicate place processing your own birth, pregnancy, or postpartum experiences. My heart is for yours! God knows every emotion you are encountering. Nothing surprises Him or catches Him off guard. “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:16 As we come to understand with greater clarity what it looks like to hold grief and joy simultaneously, to live in the “already, but not yet”, we can affirm how that reality permeates different arenas of our every day lives. Our birth stories do not define us. But that doesn’t mean the very means in which the Lord chooses to use in refining us do not matter.  “No way, Mom. I found a shark's tooth!” My six year old’s sun kissed face was beaming as she held up to me with both palms her tiny treasure.
The day before, a kind couple had passed our family on our way off the beach. They were older and looked at our young girls (and us as parents with our arms overflowing with beach necessities) with a “we remember when” gaze. They knelt down and asked our kids if they’d like a shark's tooth to take home. They had found so many today. “Yea!” Our girls squealed, accepting in awe the small, inky blank, pointy objects. The couple then showed our girls what to look for at the water's edge to find more. I had gone to this same beach for over 30 years and never, not even once, in all my seashell hunting had I found a shark's tooth. Here’s what Iearned from the sweet couple and my own kids. The shark’s teeth have always been there. I just hadn’t discovered any because I hadn't been looking for them. What we seek we find. That’s exactly what looking for shark’s teeth and our view of the nearness of God have in common. Can I give it to you point blank?  So often I am completely stilled that the God of the universe would answer my greatest and deepest desire with the story that he has.
From as early as I can remember, I have always dreamed of being a mom. As the oldest of four children, I always felt like I was my siblings' second momma. When I was little and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always “a mom”, or “I want to work with orphans and love them as my own.” It's funny how God plants those little seeds in our hearts from the youngest of ages. However, God's timeline was different from mine, but gracious. It was perfect. The miracles he has worked in my life have drawn me closer to him in ways that I never imagined possible. He took that desire to care for orphans and children and made it my story through adoption. So, THIS is my story and my greatest heart’s desire is to use all for His glory…  The past summers I’ve had a babysitter come throughout the week to help me while I juggle work and kids. But, this year looks different. Summer 2022 is the summer I’m home and fully on mom duty. My work hasn’t disappeared. I just want time with my littles before my oldest heads off to Kindergarten.
I don’t know about you, but I was overwhelmed when the last week of school hit. What are we going to do all day? How do I juggle it all.? “Okay, Kaley, breathe.” When I stepped out of the panic, I realized I wanted this next few months to be purposeful. A summer that’s intentional and fun. One where core memories are made. And, that’s not just going to happen by itself. So, here are three simple things I did to get a family plan together to have the best summer ever with our kids.  When you speak a blessing, you are declaring favor and goodness over people and reminding someone who their God is to stir faith in them. If faith is stirred through speaking blessings, and faith can change the world, why couldn’t we shift the hearts and perspectives of ourselves and our children by deciding to speak blessings over them each day?
If you need somewhere to start, here are five blessings to speak over your children...  I’ve found that "mom guilt" is more accessible than it should be and easier to yield to than I am willing to admit...
Here’s the truth. Mom guilt started way before motherhood; this is not something that magically appeared after giving birth to a fun size version of myself, it has always been there. There’s always an array of guilt, we have just done a great job at putting words in front it. Now there's- job guilt, wife guilt, friend guilt, food guilt, shoppers’ guilt. Guilt is guilt no matter what word we place in front of it. For me, this started as a little girl who was groomed to meet the unyielding expectations of others. If I dared to not meet them, I would be greeted with rejection, feelings of abandonment and words that affirmed I wasn’t good enough. These repeated moments wrote the words to a novel I was never designed to be a character in. Through these exchanges, I learned how to easily deem myself guilty. The judge was my unresolved issues of the past throwing down the gavel, validating my charges and sentencing me to guilt prison. This isn’t new, it’s just matured.... The term "mom guilt" has conveniently given guilt permission to grow with us into motherhood and occupy space in different areas of our lives. So, how do we choose God's grace over "mom guilt"? |
