There’s something sacred about the table. It’s where stories surface, laughter spills, and sometimes—healing begins.
Around the table, we learn to ask questions that go beyond “How was your day?” We begin to ask, “How’s your heart?” As part of our “At the Table” series, I wanted to finish out our month strong by inviting you into a conversation that I was able to have with some incredible women at an event called Bloom in Charlotte, NC. As a part of a panel, I was asked a series of questions and wanted to share those responses here. Below you’ll find —a reflection on healing, identity, and what it means to walk with God through the long, slow process of becoming whole. If I were taking notes from what I shared at Bloom, this would be it. BUT if you want to listen to the full answers live, make sure you check out the Miracle in the Mess Podcast. May these questions and those at the very end of this blog spark your own At the Table conversations when you’re ready to share a little more heart and soul…
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Discipling during DinNER: 3 Practical Ways to Spiritually Connect To our Children at the Table10/14/2025  The kitchen has always been a sacred place for me. It’s the first place I wander to in the morning to make a steaming cup of coffee. For years, it’s been where I open my devotional and journal at the dining room table. It’s where our family gathers at the end of a busy day to share a meal, where friends lean their elbows on the island while I stir something on the stove, and where my husband turns on Johnnyswim, pulls me in close, and spins me around the floor. It’s where our kids dance barefoot to their favorite songs.
Our kitchens have hosted more birthdays, game nights, and holidays than I can count. There’s just something special about a kitchen, isn’t there? It’s both the place where we’re nourished and the space where we feel safe enough to make a mess. Maybe that’s why I believe the kitchen table is one of the best places to begin discipling our children… 
News feeds are full of fighting. Families are already split over politics, and group text threads are heavy with tension about who to avoid at upcoming holiday gatherings. Even in our neighborhoods, where we once waved and said, “Hey Bob, how are ya?”—now we avert our eyes, hurry to our cars, and escape into the next thing.
Across America, people are dodging personal connection out of fear of conflict—yet at the same time, we dash to our phones to fire off opinionated comments at strangers on social media. In a world pulling apart, what if the Church led the way in pulling chairs closer? Remembering Connection Before ScreensBefore social media, I had to ask my parents or friends about everything. By the time dial-up internet connected, I could’ve already gotten an answer from my mom and hopped on my bike for a neighborhood ride. When my perspective was off, someone who loved me corrected me and steered me straight. Now, we carry lightning-fast computers in our pockets. Any question, any opinion—seconds away. Then we curate feeds that echo back what we already believe. Before long, we’ve built an entire worldview reinforced not by people who know us, but by algorithms. And here’s the problem… 
I recently hopped on social media to ask for podcast and blog ideas. Funnily enough, I only got one response. But I loved it so much that I’m kicking off our fall Hermana Blog and season three of the Miracle in the Mess Podcast with it.
The suggestion? “How do we adult well?” Honestly, the older I get, the less sure I feel about adulting. In my twenties, I probably would’ve rattled off a quippy, self-help-sounding line like: “Health and wealth in adulthood are found in soul rest and deep relationships.” Or maybe even something peppy like: “Don’t pause your dreams—your best adult self shows up when you chase your God-given calling!” Cute, right? But not raw. True-ish? Sure. Practical? Nope. If we were sitting down for coffee and you asked me this question, I’d give you a much simpler answer: We adult well by thinking less about ourselves and more about God and others. 
I’m writing this on a rainy day from my back porch. Water is streaming off the gutters while little pools are forming in the garden soil around flower buds. This day seems like a reprieve from the spring spark, those early weeks of the new season where we all become as busy as bees sprung from their hives to flit around outside to do yard work, clean up our homes, and find restaurants to eat at with picnic tables.
The spring weather in the Carolinas flip flops. We experience almost summer-like weather. Then, bam! In will come a cool breeze, drop in the temperature, and a ton of rain. After living in the Carolinas most of my life, I’m prepared for this seasonal swing. The winter coats don’t go up in the attic until May. Rain boots stay by the front door for our entire family so the kids aren’t tempted to ruin their shoes in a mud puddle. A ball cap stays ready on my dresser when the humidity suddenly threatens to grow my hair into a frizz ball. Even if you don’t live in a climate that experiences weekly weather surprises in the spring, we have all experienced shocking change. Besides death (and taxes, ha!), change is one of the only things that are inevitable in life. It’s not these continual shifts in seasons that tend to rock us. What’s hard is when we aren’t prepared for them. When a huge life problem, financial hardship, or a soul wrenching senario slams into our lives like an unexpected April shower, it’s miserable. We are caught in a spring rain without a coat. About six months ago and seemingly out of nowhere, anxiety attacks and insomnia began to wreak havoc on my life. I was shocked and scared. I didn’t know what to do or how to find reprieve from the storm. Through that experience, here are a few ways I learned that we can always spiritually stay prepared for whatever life may throw at us… 
A few weekends ago, I scattered seeds in the planter boxes in my backyard. I’m a rudimentary gardener at best but I do put whatever skill that I have to work in a small garden our family has out back. Daily, the kids and I have checked the dirt for any signs that the seeds have sprung to life and this week they finally have! Tiny bright green leaves are promisingly breaking through the soil and opening toward the sun, budding into zinnias, herbs, squash, cucumbers, peppers, and tomato plants.
It’s so exciting to watch a garden grow but it also requires a ton of time and continuous effort. Yet, I plant and harvest again and again, year after year, because I don’t think God has used anything to teach me more about life. With my hands in the loam, He reveals to me His principals, character, and technique for allowing His creation to thrive. So, as we dive into April, I felt like this was the opportune time for us to talk about three of these lessons God has taught me on my knees before Him tending to a plant…  A gracious friend offered me their old desk. It’s a beautiful, white set up complete with a bookcase. Excitedly, I began to pull my Bible study books I had been keeping in our family bookshelf into my own work desk. Next I reached for my old Bibles and devotional books, anything really I knew I’d be pulling from for writing projects in the future. Out of all my nerdy treasures, I stumbled across a devotional book I had read through in college and tumbling out from the worn pages were some old prayer cards. Unable to resist combing back over the over-a-decade-old cries of my heart, I scanned the lists. There were names and specifics for what I was asking God for. There were sins I was struggling with. Tears began to pool up in my eyes as I realized that so much of what I had prayed for then, God had answered. It was wild!
There were requests like to “bless my future husband and family” while I now am married with three beautiful girls. I saw where I asked that God would allow me to “write a book someday for young girls” and to “let my music and writing reach many ears and eyes for the Gospel” while I simultaneously stared at copies of my books, have my next ghostwriting project in the works, and am planning worship sets and packing up my guitar for a women’s retreat this weekend. I don’t tell you this so you think, “Wow, good for you Kaley.” I’m sharing because I am ashamed that I had forgotten. As the years have passed so also has it slipped from my mind that God has fulfilled so much. I am walking everyday present day on the foundations of a past answered prayer. Instead of living in gratitude for that, I have been grumbling to God about my recent anxiety and insomnia flareups. My mind has been consumed with worry instead of praise. Do you ever find yourself in a state of grumbling instead of gratitude too? Aren’t we all prone to forget what the Lord has done? This is probably why the word “remember” is one of the most frequently used words in the Bible. And why there are verses like Ephesians 5:20 that command us to “always give thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We as humans are naturally bent toward negativity and, if we aren’t intentional about reconfiguring our mind to dwell on the goodness of God, we will find ourselves missing our blessings for our burdens. 1 Samuel 12:14 instructs us to “be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.” Here are two quick ways we can shift from grumbling to gratitude…  As I was sitting in worship yesterday, we were singing “I will lay my crowns down at your feet. You are holy, holy.” It’s a beautiful worship song called “Crowns Down” sung originally by Josh Baldwin and Bethel Music. Over and over, as if the title of this song was in neon letters blinking in my brain, I kept feeling God say— Crowns down. Crowns down.
My mind was jogged to Deuteronomy 12. In this Chapter, God warns the Israelites that the new land they are claiming has high places that the people who went before them used as places for idol worship. Here’s what God asks them to do: “These are the decrees and laws you must be careful to follow in the land that the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has given you to possess—as long as you live in the land. Destroy completely all the places on the high mountains, on the hills and under every spreading tree, where the nations you are dispossessing worship their gods. Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and burn their Asherah poles in the fire; cut down the idols of their gods and wipe out their names from those places.” (Deuteronomy 12: 1-3, NIV) Break down the altars. Burn down the pillars. Cut down the idols. All of these thoughts came together in that moment of worship to lead me to ask this question: What high places and crowns must come down?  You’re FREE ebook is at the end of this blog!
We’ve all heard the phrase “New year, New Me” about one thousand times. But here’s the deal, we don’t really need a new “us.” Why? Because we start things and don’t finish them. We make New Year’s resolutions and forget what they are by February. When the pressure is on us to fix us, we’re fail every time, right? What we’ve been doing isn’t working! That’s why we don’t need a “new me,” we need a new strategy. Here’s what I’ve been doing each new year and I’m tossing this plan in the trash. I’ve been adding things onto my life thinking these new additions will make my life more fulfilling, that I’ll even experience greater growth in my walk with Christ. More healthy food and exercise… More quiet time with God… Achieve more goals… Make more money… More date nights with my husband… Be more intentional with my kids… Gosh, just thinking of “more” makes my chest start to tighten. Is it doing that to you too? Because I know I need “more” of these things but life already feels full to the brim. If I throw on “more” I’m going to explode. I can’t handle more. I need less. And that is exactly how do we do more of what we know God is calling us into next year….  There are more days I wake up already feeling behind the ball than on top of it. It’s as if, no matter how fast I move, time won’t slow down enough to allow me to catch up to it.
You get it. We’re busy women! We have families and kids and jobs and homes and to-do’s and chores and food and then…. we toss in Christmas. A season of light, laughter, families and memories that we’ll so easily rush through if…. |
