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So You Want to Be in Love Like the Movies?
Windows rolled down, my hair billowing around my face, the college version of myself had the Avett Brothers cranked almost all the way up and was singing at the top of her lungs: “So you want to be in love like the movies But in the movies they’re not in love at all And with a twinkle in their eyes They’re just saying their lines So we can’t be in love like the movies.”* As a self-declared non-romantic, these lyrics always felt like a duh statement to me. Of course real love doesn’t look like the movies. There’s no perfect soundtrack swelling behind an ordinary morning coffee when we accidentally reach for the same mug as a handsome stranger. We don’t lock eyes, smile, walk away, and then discover our phone number magically written on a to-go cup. We don’t fall in love on the first date and go on to live a flawless life with a picture-perfect family. It’s just not real—and I’ve always known that. We all know that. People fight. They carry flaws, baggage, and wounds. They hold reservations and secrets, doubts and expectations. And still… don’t we all secretly want to be in love like the movies? Behind our realism lives a quiet longing for the meet-cute moment. We want to be unexpectedly swept off our feet by someone who gives us security and worth. Someone who chooses us out of a crowd. Someone who loves us as we are, never makes us question their loyalty, and somehow makes us feel—well—whole. This is the tension we live in: the longing to be fully and perfectly loved feels like fantasy—something reserved for rom-coms and fairy tales. And yet, we yearn for it anyway. So what do we do with our desire to be loved--and to be in love?
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There’s something sacred about the table. It’s where stories surface, laughter spills, and sometimes—healing begins.
Around the table, we learn to ask questions that go beyond “How was your day?” We begin to ask, “How’s your heart?” As part of our “At the Table” series, I wanted to finish out our month strong by inviting you into a conversation that I was able to have with some incredible women at an event called Bloom in Charlotte, NC. As a part of a panel, I was asked a series of questions and wanted to share those responses here. Below you’ll find —a reflection on healing, identity, and what it means to walk with God through the long, slow process of becoming whole. If I were taking notes from what I shared at Bloom, this would be it. BUT if you want to listen to the full answers live, make sure you check out the Miracle in the Mess Podcast. May these questions and those at the very end of this blog spark your own At the Table conversations when you’re ready to share a little more heart and soul…  If You Find Yourself Struggling with Anxiety or Depression Today…
First and foremost, you are not alone. I’ve had several bad nights of sleep and have felt on the verge of a panic attack for over a week now. I can’t put my finger on why, but for years I’ve battled through cycles of this. Even while covering it in prayer, going to counseling, taking medication at times, and doing “all the right things.” So, I want you to know that you are never alone to your very core. There is a God who loves you just are you are. There are churches, communities, and people at arms length who will surround you in your season of struggle and hold you up when you are weak. I sent my husband a text this morning that said, “Sorry I suck.” Because it’s so tempting to buy into the lie that needing help or confessing your struggle with anxiety or depression makes you weak. Here was his reply in case you need this reminder too- “You don’t suck.” You are not a burden. By keeping this inside, you’re not only eating away at your sanity, you’re robbing someone, possibly even an entire community from the opportunity to bless and carry you. "But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” -Ephesians 5:13 If this season feels exceptionally dark to you, bring it to the light. It may feel like only a glimmer at first, but the night will give way to morning. Here are some practical ways to start...  Just last week, I watched my college town and the Blue Ridge Mountains that have served as my second home be decimated by Hurricane Helene. Even as I type this, another hurricane, category 4 storm Milton, is just hours away from slamming into Florida’s shoreline and is expected to bring catastrophic devastation. We are a matter of weeks away from one of the most polarizing and (dare I say) exhausting elections in America’s history. Wars are escalating in the Middle East. My heart is pulled in one thousand directions and breaking for a handful of reasons and this doesn’t even include any personal problems, like the new roof and AC unit our house needs or the fact that my eldest daughter has outgrown her pants and needs a winter coat.
You have your own version of this top paragraph don’t you? Together, we are reading the news headlines and scrolling on social media and our souls are shattering. People need help. Maybe even we ourselves need help. We want to pray but this is all so overwhelming. So, where do we start? This isn’t like we’re asking Jesus for a nice car. None of those shiny things have any significance at all right now. These are matters of life or death. This is survival. How do we find words to wrap up our devastating and divisive moment in order to bring it all to the feet of Jesus? What do we say when we don’t know what to pray anymore?  This is not the sharing of my two birth stories but rather, a sharing of God’s redeeming grace in and over all things nonetheless. A sharing of hope, of how the Lord brings beauty from ashes and makes all things new in accordance with His perfect plan.
Before divulging too much more, a disclaimer: There will be some details discussed from my two c-sections that could give rise to heavy emotions, thoughts, and feelings if you are in a delicate place processing your own birth, pregnancy, or postpartum experiences. My heart is for yours! God knows every emotion you are encountering. Nothing surprises Him or catches Him off guard. “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:16 As we come to understand with greater clarity what it looks like to hold grief and joy simultaneously, to live in the “already, but not yet”, we can affirm how that reality permeates different arenas of our every day lives. Our birth stories do not define us. But that doesn’t mean the very means in which the Lord chooses to use in refining us do not matter.  Not might. Not maybe. Jesus promised us that we WILL have suffering. This isn't a popular conversation topic because we want to believe that being a Christian will mean our life is easy. God is on our side so everything will be perfect now. Our prayers are heard so, poof! Amazing things are going to happen for us. Here’s the truth because I think you can handle it...  You’ve probably heard that love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice. Whoever said that was absolutely right. God chose to love us when we were unlovable. For those of us who are married, we know that we’re choosing to love our spouses even when the butterflies aren’t there or we’re stuck in the middle of an argument. Moms, we're loving our children when they’ve pitched a fit and disobeyed the rules. I'm sure we can all think of 100 instances we've chosen to love family, friends, coworkers, and even total strangers, when they weren't exactly lovable. For sure. Love is a choice. But, that doesn’t disqualify our feelings. Our emotional response to circumstances and people is actually a gift from God.  I always thought I was a broken girl because I was not free to feel.
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